trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
