My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Couch. On fire.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
