so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Randomize
