just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
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