Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
