Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Randomize