6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Randomize
