Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Randomize
