bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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