i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Randomize