is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
