haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
