So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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