just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
