he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
