I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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