when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
