Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
