i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
