i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
