i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
