A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
