Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
