yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
