I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
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