But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
