I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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