it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Randomize
