I need to stop coming to work sober
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
