I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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