it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize