LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
