i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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