How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
