I wanna bring you to show and tell
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
