I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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