she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
