grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
