we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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