Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
