the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
