And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize