I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
