Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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