It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
