you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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