oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
