garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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