You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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