i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
did i walk over a car last night?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
