I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
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