I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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