Ambien. No doubt about it.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
