he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
