I don't remember. Are we still dating?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
