You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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