Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
