i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
