A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
