I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
