I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Randomize
