whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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