MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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