I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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