with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
